At first, it almost made me crazy, thinking of all the possibilities, of all the reasons why I did it, why I shouldn't have, why I started it. Why. Why. Why.
I'm over that phase. For now. I am pretty sure that anytime, I'll be back thinking about it again. But for now, I have been thinking of other things, of lost friends, of past relationships, of almost lovers, of other possibilities.
I am happy at the moment that I have the luxury to think of other things and not some stupid shit that I have thought of over and over again or other stupid shit that I should have thought of before.
Perhaps, I had enough sleep. Maybe because I spent that past two days almost not doing anything. I'm not sure what the real reason is. Quizas. Quizas. Quizas.
I feel like me. I feel free. I feel I am not depriving myself of something I know should be doing. I am thinking again. Even petty things, I think about it. As simple as buying fries for someone who can't convince me, I think about it. Because this is how I am. THIS IS HOW I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN. The past five months was not totally me.
I feel that I am back in my real realm. I am back.
Maghanda na kayo dahil walang tigil na naman akong magsasalita tungkol sa mga naiisip ko. Walang tigil na naman akong mag-iisip mula sa mga pinakasimpleng bagay hanggang sa pinakakomplikadong sitwasyon sa mundong ibabaw.
Ganito talaga ako. Matagal na akong ganito.
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