It's so hard to be driven if you have no direction

I have been meaning to write a meaningful post about being a graduate with no concrete plans and all. But the thing is, I haven't graduated yet (march, get the diploma, pictures with the family, pig out right after). Exams are over, thesis has been passed. I'll get my grades on Tuesday. Clearance will be signed after Holy Week. I march two weeks from now.

I have been postponing on updating this thing because of this thought that I might have a failed subject or something and then I won't be able to graduate after all. Scary. Really scary.

Plus I have been busy. Hahaha. What else is new. I am organizing a family friend's friend's debut for the 19th. Kind of preparing for a To Heat You Up show for the 13th. Rehearsing for a thesis production on the 17th. Planning another trip to Zambales this coming week. Wondering when I should get another perm.

Hindi naman ako workaholic. OO! WORKAHOLIC AKO!!!! Sinong tanga ang magsho-show ng 1pm at 7pm sa RCBC habang baccalaureate mass niya rin sa araw na iyun ng 4pm sa Intramuros??? AKO! AKO! AKO ANG TANGANG YUN!!! Kinabukasan nga pala graduation ko ng 9am, assuming na ga-graduate nga ako.

Whew!!

As I was saying, it's so hard to be driven when you have no direction. Now that graduation is around the corner, I have been having this dilemma of what I want to do in life. And I'm not someone who will settle for an "okay lang" type of job. I do love theater. I may have gotten burned out after high school but this time, I definitely sure that I love what I am doing and how it entangles my life. Still, I want something that is related to my degree. I also want something that can feed my need to organize anything that's not my table. My friends must be tired of listening about this dilemma of mine that at some point they have memorized it.

Most of my classmates are probably preparing their resumes and are looking for potential employers. How about me? Do not expect me to be sending out a business resume this year.

This summer will be the end of many beginnings and the beginning of many ends. I am determined to find what I want and enjoy the adventure of unemployment. Rakets will be my main source of income and as much as possible I won't be asking cash from the parentals.

I really want to move out soon but this whole bum episode of my life will make it impossible. But I'm still looking for possible residences in case I'd be financially stable soon.

I am not sure with everything. But I'm sure I'll be okay.